In one of my previous roles, I remember speaking with a supervisor about being aware of some cultural differences the crews may encounter when entering a community to begin construction work. I’ll never forget his comment:
“We treat all of our customers the same.”
And that’s the problem.
Listen, I’m sure he meant to finish the sentence: “We treat all of our customers with the same respect.“
And…that’s also the problem.
Can you define what respect is, exactly?
Is respect looking someone in the eyes when speaking to them?
Is shaking hands a necessity?
How about removing your shoes when entering someone’s house?
Do you need address customers with honorific titles (sir, ma’am) or perhaps asking them to repeat their first or last name to be sure of pronunciation?
If you ask 100 people what they consider as respect, there is no doubt you’ll receive 100 different answers. Of course, there will be overlapping ones, but you cannot assume your personal understanding of respect is the same as someone else’s. You also cannot assume that because “looks” or “sounds” different than you that they don’t deserve some form of adaptation.
Does this mean you need to twist yourself into knots figuring out what’s respectful? Of course not!
There are ways to shift your mindset, participate in active listening, building your empathy, patience and intercultural competence. This comes with practice, training and repetition.
However, there is one other major thing about the supervisor’s comment above that irked me: denial. Acknowledging that we don’t treat each other the same way or with the same respect is the first step towards effective communication across all cultures.